August 2002 Are you Still Reading This?? (LOL!!)

Whew...what a month! It seems as if I start off every update the same. I think to myself...geez...who would want to read this?? When I first started this web site I wanted to share my renewed faith and favorite web sites, quotes, saints, etc. I was really surprised when people responded so positively to the "My Story" page and whenever I am late in updating...I always get emails from my cyber friends saying...What is wrong???I hope that my story helps each person who visits to realize that we all have crosses to bear. Yup...each and every one of us. Even the person who looks as if they have the "world on a string....sooner or later...he or she will have to "carry the cross." I also hope that my story will encourage all to turn to God during the darkest hour. Some people feel as if God has forgotten about them...but God is the most loving of Fathers...He is just waiting for you to ASK him for help! Also, when things are going well in your life...remember to THANK God...because it is through God that you have those blessings! Sometimes I just like to stand still and feel the breeze on my face and the sun (just for a minute as I am very sun sensitive due to lupus and all of the chemo meds I am on)....Anyway, I just stand there and say Thanks, God!Some people ask me how to pray...that is easy...just talk to God! As Jesus says in the bible...the best way to pray is to go in a quiet room and just begin. He taught the disciples the Our Father...so that is always a good one to start with. I always feel you should just talk to God from your heart.I suppose I should update my health situation although it is not good news at all. My spine continues to degenerate because of all of the steroids I have had to take because of the lupus. It pretty much is...which is worse...the disease or the medications to treat the disease? My spine is very brittle and dry and has bulges, herniations, one dislocation, one compression fracture, a sprain/strain, and a host of other minor stuff. I am just getting over a kidney stone which was also brought upon by the meds (I have to taken whopping doses of calcium because of the bone loss due to the steroid usage so the excess calcium creates kidney stones...which are sort of painful!) My vision is getting worse. I can not track visually from side to side and if I try to read one of my eyes closes shut so I sometimes just wear a patch over the one eye if I am going to read for any length of time. My breathing, too, is getting worse. On top of all this, I have been battling various infections and between the pain and infections, I have been homebound for months--only leaving the house to go to the doctor. I have not been able to attend Mass for several months which really makes me sad.As always, Tom has been a wonderful and supportive husband. It is so hard to be a caretaker for someone who is so ill. Sometimes he looks at me and I can see how scared he is that he is going to lose me...that I will stop breathing...he wants to "fix" what is wrong and can't...and I know that is very frustrating.Please keep us in your prayers. Remember...prayers are the most precious gift you can give or receive...answered prayers are more precious than gold, diamonds and any amount of cash. As the saints would say, Storm Heaven with your prayers!Until next time,Shelley