(Not So) Wordless Wednesday #7

Today is Our Lady of Mercy's Feast Day.

Here is a prayer:

Blessed Virgin Mary, who can worthily repay you with praise and thanks for having rescued a fallen world by your generous consent!

Receive our gratitude, and by your prayers obtain the pardon of our sins.

Take our prayers into the sanctuary of heaven and enable them to make our peace with God.

Holy Mary, help the miserable, strengthen the discouraged, comfort the sorrowful, pray for your people, plead for the clergy, intercede for all women consecrated to God.

May all who venerate you feel now your help and protection.

Be ready to help us when we pray, and bring back to us the answers to our prayers.

Make it your continual concern to pray for the people of God, for you were blessed by God and were made worthy to bear the Redeemer of the world, who lives and reigns forever.

Amen.

Another Round of doctors...another round of prayers answered but questions unanswered...

Okay, I went and saw a BUNCH of docs lately (and still have a few more to go see)...but the important news is this--my lungs are completely CLEAR. WOO HOO!! No more nodules. Doing a happy dance. My lung doc informed me that the "stuff--i.e. nodules were quite large--and also were numerous. He wasn't very happy to find out that my rheumie was asking me if I would again consider going back on the Enbrel (which my lung doctor believes was the main culprit in lowering my immune system to the crazy level where I got some really weirdo lung infection that basically took over my lungs--kind of like tuberculosis) My rheumatologist, though, (and I can see her side of the picture as well--says how well it helped with my headaches and diarrhea (oops--TMI, I am sorry--but the second ailment was so severe that I literally was homebound because of it. When I was taking Enbrel, it was the first time in almost 25 years that I could really have a somewhat "normal" life--except for ONE thing--my lungs became all gunked up within 2-4 months. So, of course, I just have to deal with the headaches and tummy trouble because I can't go back on that med which crashes my immune system (I am also on 3 other immunosuppresent "chemo" meds and then steroids which don't help matters any.

SIGH!! And STILL, with all of these meds...I have such awful headaches.

As I said...I still have another round of docs to go to--and one of those happen to be the neurologist. So, we shall see what he recommends. He is just THRILLED that I am still alive. Apparently, according to my MRI films, I have a "big hole" in my brain and I should be just grateful to be functioning as well as I am. He is always just amazed at how well I get around (as if I should just be sitting there drooling in the corner or something?? I am not sure what he really expects?? However, I am extremely stubborn--so if anything, they (docs) should all expect me to give them one HECK of a time. LOL!!

Anyway...that's the update for now. Again....thank you SO much for all of your prayers. The power of prayer is JUST amazing--isn't it?? Do you have a story about how the power of prayer in your life?? Do you have any tips for trying to deal with "dueling docs"?

Again--take care and SMILE at a stranger :)

Gentle hugs

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday #5

This picture has always brought me peace and comfort whenever I have needed it and I hope it does the same for you.

There is a prayer that goes with it. Also, I have included a little explanation I have found that I found interesting.

Gentle hugs,

Shelley

Mother of Perpetual Help, today we face so many difficulties. Your picture tells us so much about you. It reminds us to reach out and help those in need.

Help us understand that our lives belong to others as much as they belong to us. Mary, Model of Christian love, we know we cannot heal every ill or solve every problem. But with God's grace, we intend to do what we can.

May we be true witnesses to the world that love for one another really matters. May our daily actions proclaim how fully our lives are modeled after yours, Mother of Perpetual Help.

The picture of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour belongs to the group of Passion icons of the 15th century. These paintings are characterized by the symbols of the passion and the austere features of the Madonna and the Child. Around the crowned head of the Madonna are the words "Mother of God". On both sides are the two archangels Michael and Gabriel with their respective names inscribe above their head and holding the instruments of the Passion: St.Michael holding the spear and the sponge and St.Gabriel the Cross. At the sight of the Cross the Child Jesus is stuck by fear his feet strike each other and knock off a struck by fear his feet strike each other and knock off a sandal from this foot and he clings to this mother for support. The features of the Madonna are gave conveying a message of hope and an assurance of help to all those who in identical circumstances will appeal to her for help. These is also a plea in her eyes: do not hurt my Son more by sin and I will help you by his goodness.

To learn more, click here.

December 2008 Merry Musings :)

Wow...another year has flown by. I can't believe how fast time goes by. Seriously. Where DOES the time go? I really do not seem to have enough hours in the day to possibly get all of the things done that I want to do...and really...I don't DO anything...LOL!

This time of the year can always be a bit stressful, huh? Everyone seems to be in a rush...the hustle and bustle of everyone and everything can be hard for people who like to have things in order or who live life by a schedule (raise of hands!!) Also, just the change of weather can be difficult for those who have chronic illnesses and can trigger flares. This in combination with any stress of a change in routine can give those who are sick a really double whammy of a flare.

I try to remember to slow down and appreciate beauty of the season. Everything seems so sparkly this time of year. Also, the very few times I actually get out my favorite thing to do is to watch the kids at Santa's toy shop. I just get a kick out of it..some of them are so excited...and then some are so scared--me--I remember being scared out of my mind--who was this crazy fat guy in the red suit?? But I also remember some sort of connection that my wish was going to get granted if I went and chatted him up so I very timidly went to talk to him.

As far as my health update, my last chest xray came back TOTALLY CLEAR. Yipee!! This means that I can go another six months and then I go get another one. As Tom says, though, it is ALWAYS something, because I do have some other health issues going on. I am having some problems with one of my hip replacements that I had done a few years ago. I may have to have one of them redone or "revised". I really don't want to because as the motto goes around this house...I try to avoid surgery as much as I can...LOL! SIGH. Oh well, I go to see my orthopedic doc in January so I guess I will know more then. (I am going to see the doc who did my other hip--or should I say my good hip--obviously--I don't want to go back to the doc who did the lousy hip!!) Also, I have been having some trouble with my brain. The neuro, though, told me that I was doing pretty good for someone who has a "hole in her head" (that is from the stroke) Seriously...he said that. I was like, ah, OK! But, I have been having horrendous headaches...but he said that is to be expected and that I should just be lucky to be alive and that most people who have had my kind of lupus and especially the extent of damage to the brain only live 2 years (and here it has been 8 years--again--AH, OK!!)

Well, that is it for the update.

Please have a Blessed Christmas and a healthy and happy 2009. I appreciate all of your comments and posts. They encourage ME so please send them in.

As always, prayers are SO powerful. Let them work wonders in YOUR life.

Until next time

Gentle hugs,

Shelley

September 2008 Believe in MIRACLES :)

Wow:) I can not believe another year has gone by. This past year has been even harder than last year. I believe this year was all about just patience and truly believing in the power of prayer.
I had a lot of different health problems this year but the major one involved my lungs. For the past several years, I had a nodule in one of my lungs and after several years of having clean xrays/cts, my docs believed that the "nodule" was stable and we just went on to deal with other more "urgent" issues. In March, I developed a really bad cough at night and a few times it had blood in it. I went to the doctor and had a CT which showed 11 nodules in my lungs. (Yup, went from 1 to 11)
We left the doc's office sort of stunned, but then did the only thing we know that truly helps. We prayed and then we began to ask everyone AND anyone we came across to pray...and I mean...EVERYONE!! and ANYONE.
In July, I was scheduled to get a biopsy done. I was terrified. Before the procedure, it is routine to have another cat scan done so that the radiolgist can see if there has been any changes in the size of the nodules since the last test. When the radiologist came in, he told me that had some good news for me. He said that I didn't have to have the biopsy done because out of the 11 nodules, there were only 4 left and those 4 were in areas that were hard to reach. WOO HOO!! I was literally dancing around the table I was so happy. When the nurse took me back out to the waiting room to meet Tom, he was so confused because he thought the next time he would see me would be right before surgery but now, here I was, all dressed and ready to go home WITH A BIG SMILE ON MY FACE!!
The radiolgist told us to get another CT in six weeks and then follow up with my lung doctor. The next six weeks were so hard. Tom was never wavering in his belief that ALL of the nodules would be gone but I would sometimes have doubts. I just couldn't believe that maybe all of the nodules could be gone--I mean...I have had the one since 2003, I think, so I believed that at least THAT one would still remain...However, Tom believed without a doubt that the power of prayer was going to make the remaining nodules go away as well.
So, we continued to have the "Prayer Warriors" pray...and continued to ask everyone and anyone we knew to pray.
It seemed like forever for those six weeks to go by, but finally, it was time to go see the lung doctor. When we received the "all clear" news, again, I was just so joyful and told my lung doctor...it was from the power of prayer...and he said...you are probably right. Now, THAT is a good doctor!! Not one that says...no, that can't be...blah, blah, blah, science, this and that. He is just as amazed as we are.
So, again, the power of prayer. Please believe that it can work in YOUR life.
Thanks for all who have prayed for me and for Tom. Thanks for all who have taken the time to send personal emails and who have signed the guest book.
Hopefully, this year I will be able to update my site a bit more frequently (my goal is monthly but with lupus I have learned to just do a bit at a time...and sometimes not a BIT gets done. LOL!
Anyway, again...please let the power of prayer work in your life.
Gentle hugs,
Shelley

Winter 2006: Power of Prayer

The holidays are fast approaching. Blink fast and we will be in 2007 before we know it. Again, where does the time go by?? I haven't been on the computer much during the past few months. My health hasn't been the greatest--nothing major but it is the minor things that add up which just tend to make life MORE...hmmm...what is the word I am looking for...INTERESTING!! I guess.
My bones are so brittle from years of prednisone and chemotherapy that I am having lots of trouble with fractures. One wrong sneeze could result in broken ribs. Not a lot of fun if you know what I mean!! I didn't realize how badly my bones were until I reached down to play with our kitten and fractured my humeral head (which is the top part of the shoulder area) OUCH!! I have done that twice now. I need to have surgery on it but the doc doesn't want to do the surgery because of my lungs (and I really prefer to stay out of the hospital AND of of the O.R.!! if at all possible)
So, this is one of the reasons why I haven't been on the computer much these past few months...dealing with various aches and pains. However, I have to admit that dealing with this has deepened my strength in the power of prayer. PRAYER IS SO AWESOME!! It is truly the greatest gift we can give to another person...and it is FREE!!! I wish more people would understand the power of prayer.
There have been so many times in my life when I have been burdened and I have just "let go and let God". To do this, I realize, takes a tremendous amount of faith...but isn't that the "definition of faith"...believing in something or someone in spite of all else?? Everyone time I have given my burdens to God, I have been comforted and things have worked out. Sometimes I don't even realize that things ARE working out...but only later when I reflect on things...I go AH!! God does work in mysterious ways.
So, in this time of hustle and bustle, please remember the TRUE reason for the season. It is our Lord's Birthday. Make Joyful noise. St. Francis of Assisi said, "Those who sing, pray twice"...Sing those Christmas Carols LOUDLY and with heartfelt joy in your heart for Christ our Saviour was born!! He lived and died for our sins and will one day come again...so be ready...love one another...be kind to one another...and remember...God is ALWAYS there...you just have to ASK Him...invite him into your heart.
Please keep signing the guestbook. It keeps me motivated and lets me know that there STILL are people out there looking at the site which keeps me updating it each month:)
Until next time...May the new year be filled with peace, happiness, and good health,
Shelley

January 2005 Happy New Year

Happy New Year. Did you know that Pope John Paul II has announced that 2005 is to be the Year of the Eucharist? I challenge you to find out more about the Eucharist this year. I encourage you to discover what does the word EUCHARIST mean to you? One of the best ways to refresh your cathecism is to help sponsor someone through RCIA (kind of like adult CCD classes only BETTER...there is a link on my site about RCIA which describes the process a lot clearer then I can ever attempt to)
Anyway...back to the greeting :)
Hope all who are reading this had a very Blessed Christmas. As with all of the world, our hearts are saddened by the terrible devastation of the tsunami and the continuing destruction it leaves behind.
We continue to pray with the knowledge that prayer is heard and that prayer is POWERFUL.
Thank you for each and every one of you who has taken the time out these last few months to either drop a private email or to write a nice guestbook message. These messages really help to keep me motivated to continue the website on the many days when I physically am not feeling up to doing much but whenever I start to work on the website I start to feel a bit better. I haven't been writing as many "updates" as my brain hasn't been working as well so I am really hesitant to try to write anything as I am VERY critical of ANYTHING I write. I try to just "let GO and Let God" and that normally will work. LOL! So, if you don't like what I have to say...you will need to have a talk with my superior....
Ah, well, one has to laugh, right. Again, keep the emails coming. I really enjoy to hear the things that inspire and encourage YOU!! If you have a favorite St. Therese saying or a favorite prayer, SHARE it. If you have a story about converting to Catholicism, SHARE it. You may just be able to help inspire another person out there. Just one person inspiring and helping one other person. That is what life and love is all about.
Well, I should end for now.
Remember...smile today at someone you don't know...hold the door open for someone who may need some help (I always appreciate that!!!) and treat everyone with the love and kindness that you would want others to extend to those YOU love.
Until next time,
Gentle hugs,
Shelley

April 2004 Happy Easter

Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter :) As always, where has the time gone between the beginning of the year and now?? I have the best intentions for updating this website yet it seems not only do days and weeks go by before I get to it but entire MONTHS go by. Wish I could say that I was having so much fun that I was losing track of time...LOL! Oh well, I must first say thank you to everyone who has written such kind guestbook entries and even kinder private email notes. Also, both Tom and I can not begin to express our gratitude for all of the prayers that we know are being said for us. We firmly believe that prayer is the greatest gift that we can give to those we care about so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all of you who continue to pray for us. We hope that you will keep all of those who are ill, disabled, or homebound in your prayers as well. Hopefully, I will be able to add some new pages to the web site in the next few months. I continue to be encouraged by those who stop by and leave notes in the guestbook. This update is rather short but not much to report. Gentle hugs and blessings to all:) Until next time,

Shelley

July 2002 Becoming Golden

July 2002 UpdateHope that this message finds each one of you healthy and in good spirits :)Thanks to all who have stopped by recently and either signed my guestbook or have sent me private email. Your continued encouragement and prayer helps me more than you can possibly know!The past month has been pretty difficult. I have been in excruciating pain. I found out (after several MRIs) that now my spine is starting to degenerate because of the long term steroid use. I am sort of in a tough spot because my lupus is pretty viscous against my central nervous system so I have to take steroids; but at what cost?? Do I want to risk another stroke or just want as my bones pretty much turn to dust? Sorry...it sounds so depressing.A very nice man sent me a private email in which he reminded me to think of my suffering as being in the fire and becoming golden. Once, I started to envision that...it really did help! I am so blessed to be able to share my website with you because you guys help me in so many ways. I hope to be able to help you as well!At first, I was sort of wary of sharing my story, but now I know that it is God's will because so many people private email me to tell me that my story has touched their lives in a certain way.All I know is that if I didn't have faith....I would not be here today. I feel as if I am on a journey and I am glad that you are all journeying right along side me. I really believe that we all have our crosses to bear...we all have our sufferings...maybe your sufferings may not be physical...perhaps emotional or financial or even spiritual....whatever your sufferings, please place your worries in the hands of God and let Thy will be done. I am always amazed at the outcome whenever I finally just relent and say...Ok. God, I am giving this up to you! Sometimes the result is something totally unexpected but in the end...is exactly what I needed.Please continue to keep us in your prayers and I will continue to keep you in my prayers each night.Until next time,

Shelley

Spring 2003 B-R-E-A-T-H-E

March, April May 2003 Update: Where does the time go??? I have been trying to keep the "bare bones" of the site going...the calendar, quotes, and saints info current but haven't been able to really sit down and write an update about what has been going on with me. A lot of it is that I figure...who wants to hear about me??? Then I will get a flurry of emails from my wonderful cyber friends who keep track of me and who pray for me and who want to know WHAT is up?? Also, I have to remember that there are lots of people who do NOT send me emails but who may be inspired by something so I have to continue to try update. It is hard, though. Sometimes I feel like all I have to report is bad news but I just reread my entries and overall I think I try to end with a positive note and that is pretty much how I try to live my life so I guess that is good.Anyway, the past few months I have been dealing with lots of infections, fatigue, and just trying to recover from the hip replacement. I am getting around a lot better though but with all of the infections, etc...I still can not get OUT and about very much. Also, I am still on the oxygen 24/7 which is a major pain but, hey, I am not complaining...I like BREATHING...LOL!!!Tom & I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. For a lot of people we know, 10 years is NOTHING!!! Ha ha!! However, for a couple struggling with chronic illness, 10 years is an achievement!! We both are very proud of our marriage. We feel that we have only grown closer because of this illness and also we are so grateful (yes I said grateful) because we know that my illness made us turn back to God and made faith become the center of our lives.Prayer brought Tom into my life and prayer brought me into Tom's life...it's true. Prayer is such a powerful thing. Prayer is the greatest gift we can give one another. Tom says that prayer actually relaxes him. Try it. Pray for someone who is hurting. Pray for someone you love. Pray for someone who you may be angry with...just pray :)Until next time...gentle hugs and prayers your way,Shelley

Feb 2003 Fish Stick Fridays

Lent is just around the corner. What are your memories of Lent? Growing up and attending Catholic School (especially after Vatican II), I didn't really fully appreciate the meaning of Lent or the wonderful traditions that can be celebrated throughout the season. For instance, when I was growing up, the big question was "What are you giving up for Lent??" Sort of like a delayed New Year's resolution or something. As kids, we normally would give up gum or treats (some kids had bigger goals but the kids I knew stuck with the "old" routine) Of course, we had Fish on Friday. Yum...FISH STICKS! Always Fish sticks...unless it was payday for my dad and then we might get Filet O Fish from McD's. (And soon the no treats resolution for Lent gave way to the complete rationalization/justification (ha ha) that a Shamrock Shake from McD's is NOT a treat but rather a wholesome milk product. Yeah right!Now though I think of Lent not so much as something that I have to give up...but more of what do I have to give?? What is harder...giving up that piece of cheesecake OR actually doing performing an act of kindness and goodness....JUST BECAUSE (and doing it in the name of the Lord for Lent....of course, that part should just remain between one performing the good deed and the Lord because the one thing God doesn't like is someone tooting his/her own horn.Also, the past few years, I have REALLY thought about the Lord's Passion and especially the time he spent on the cross. I ached with him when Peter denied him, I cried when I thought of the disciples falling asleep..(he just asked for ONE hour!!!) Think of that...just ONE hour God asks of us....how many of us give him that ONE hour a week by going to church and hearing the word of the Lord?I hope that someone reading this will find it his/her heart to return to church this Lenten season and to be there on Easter to celebrate the Risen Lord!Lastly, I suppose I should give a health update. First of all, thanks to all of you for your prayers. The power of prayer is just AWESOME!! I had a worrisome Chest xray back in October and had to wait for three months to get another one to see if I was going to need further treatment. When I had the xray, the spot was gone! So, that is wonderful news. I still have to have oxygen though as my lungs are scarred and I have pulmonary hypertension from the lupus and myastenia gravis.I am getting around really good with my new hip...now I have a "matched" set. I haven't set off any detectors yet. LOL! I am no longer in the wheelchair, no longer using the walker, and use the cane for short distances out in public. I still need the wheelchair for longer times out in public due to the oxygen problem but still this is a pretty major deal for me.Tom thanks all of your for prayers that you have said for him. It is so hard to be a caretaker for a loved one. I have so much respect for those of you out there who are taking care of a family member. Please say a special prayer for all caretakers out there!!

January 2003 We All Have Crosses

Whew! I NEVER thought I was going to be able to update this website. First of all, thank all of you for being so worried about me! Yes :( I have been away from the computer as I was ill. Actually, I had to have my other hip replaced. In August, my other hip turned to dust (doesn't sound as painful that way..) I had to wait, though, until mid November to have the hip replacement surgery.Then in September I had a series of small strokes call TIAs...nothing really serious but still kind of scary...actually I think it was scarier for my poor husband than for me.During this, I developed a very bad upper respiratory infection (I already have difficulty breathing so any additional "problems" make it extremely challenging)I pretty much was not only homebound but was relegated to an area to the family room (I pretty much lived in the Lazy Boy Recliner for about four months) I was in SO much pain...I can not even begin to describe how painful it was...and not to be able to work on this web site was truly frustrating. I really felt cut off from everyone and everything.I just kept having to remind myself to put my trust in God...and sometimes that is hurt when it HURTS so much...but those where the times when I would just have to rely on faith alone or else I do not know how I would have lasted.Tom and I have had long talks...we all have crosses...each and every one of us. Crosses come in all shapes and sizes...they come at different times in our lives. Keep the faith and as always try to deal with anything you must face with grace and courage.As a side note, besides having health problems, I had some problems with my web server host...it took a few (ahem) months to get things straightened out but I think that things are now back to normal...so HOPFULLY, I will be able to update on a regular basis.So, keep us in your prayers and we will keep all of you in our prayers.Until next month...Gentle hugs,

December 2000

I am still struggling with my health but the support and inspiration I have received from this webpage has just been incredible. Thank you SO much for your prayers and good thoughts. I know that each and every one of them have helped. Today I came across this little prayer so I thought I would share it with you. See A Prayer in Time of Need towards the end of this page.

(go to http://catholicgirl.faithweb.com/)

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