Another Round of doctors...another round of prayers answered but questions unanswered...

Okay, I went and saw a BUNCH of docs lately (and still have a few more to go see)...but the important news is this--my lungs are completely CLEAR. WOO HOO!! No more nodules. Doing a happy dance. My lung doc informed me that the "stuff--i.e. nodules were quite large--and also were numerous. He wasn't very happy to find out that my rheumie was asking me if I would again consider going back on the Enbrel (which my lung doctor believes was the main culprit in lowering my immune system to the crazy level where I got some really weirdo lung infection that basically took over my lungs--kind of like tuberculosis) My rheumatologist, though, (and I can see her side of the picture as well--says how well it helped with my headaches and diarrhea (oops--TMI, I am sorry--but the second ailment was so severe that I literally was homebound because of it. When I was taking Enbrel, it was the first time in almost 25 years that I could really have a somewhat "normal" life--except for ONE thing--my lungs became all gunked up within 2-4 months. So, of course, I just have to deal with the headaches and tummy trouble because I can't go back on that med which crashes my immune system (I am also on 3 other immunosuppresent "chemo" meds and then steroids which don't help matters any.

SIGH!! And STILL, with all of these meds...I have such awful headaches.

As I said...I still have another round of docs to go to--and one of those happen to be the neurologist. So, we shall see what he recommends. He is just THRILLED that I am still alive. Apparently, according to my MRI films, I have a "big hole" in my brain and I should be just grateful to be functioning as well as I am. He is always just amazed at how well I get around (as if I should just be sitting there drooling in the corner or something?? I am not sure what he really expects?? However, I am extremely stubborn--so if anything, they (docs) should all expect me to give them one HECK of a time. LOL!!

Anyway...that's the update for now. Again....thank you SO much for all of your prayers. The power of prayer is JUST amazing--isn't it?? Do you have a story about how the power of prayer in your life?? Do you have any tips for trying to deal with "dueling docs"?

Again--take care and SMILE at a stranger :)

Gentle hugs

January 2004 ...At least I was in church :)

Whew...it's been a rough couple of months. First of all. I hope each and every one of you has had a most Blessed Christmas and a wonderful New Year. I hope this New Year is filled with love, happiness, good health and PEACE for all. (Not too much to ask, huh??)
I had a stroke on Christmas Eve while attending Mass. I guess if one is going to have a stroke...being in God's house is probably one of the better places. Fortunately, I didn't sustain too much damage afterwards. I did have to undergo a three day blast of steroids (UGH!!) and also have to take a third chemotherapy agent to try and get the central nervous system inflammation under control. (My lupus attacks my brain and central nervous system and the "chemo" helps to attack the lupus)
It is a bit harder for me to figure things out. I get frustrated a lot easier.
I am so lucky that God has blessed me with such a patient and loving husband. Sometimes I think that it is truly harder for Tom to endure this than it is for me. I definitely believe it is harder for loved ones to watch their loved one suffer. Moms want to "kiss it and make it better"...dads will go the distance to find what's "broken and "fix it" Husbands close their eyes and pray...let my wife wake up in the morning...just a simple prayer...nothing more...Well, you get what I am trying to say...I hope :)
Thank you to all who take the time out to send a note or who sign the guestbook. I really appreciate it :) My website is truly a labor of love and sometimes it is a struggle to keep it going but I just ask God to continue to direct and inspire me.
Please be kind to one another. Smile at a stranger :) Open a door for someone. Just treat others as you would want others to treat you...or your grandmother...or your daughter...
Well, I should end for now. Please keep us in your prayers.
Hugs,
Shelley

July 2002 Becoming Golden

July 2002 UpdateHope that this message finds each one of you healthy and in good spirits :)Thanks to all who have stopped by recently and either signed my guestbook or have sent me private email. Your continued encouragement and prayer helps me more than you can possibly know!The past month has been pretty difficult. I have been in excruciating pain. I found out (after several MRIs) that now my spine is starting to degenerate because of the long term steroid use. I am sort of in a tough spot because my lupus is pretty viscous against my central nervous system so I have to take steroids; but at what cost?? Do I want to risk another stroke or just want as my bones pretty much turn to dust? Sorry...it sounds so depressing.A very nice man sent me a private email in which he reminded me to think of my suffering as being in the fire and becoming golden. Once, I started to envision that...it really did help! I am so blessed to be able to share my website with you because you guys help me in so many ways. I hope to be able to help you as well!At first, I was sort of wary of sharing my story, but now I know that it is God's will because so many people private email me to tell me that my story has touched their lives in a certain way.All I know is that if I didn't have faith....I would not be here today. I feel as if I am on a journey and I am glad that you are all journeying right along side me. I really believe that we all have our crosses to bear...we all have our sufferings...maybe your sufferings may not be physical...perhaps emotional or financial or even spiritual....whatever your sufferings, please place your worries in the hands of God and let Thy will be done. I am always amazed at the outcome whenever I finally just relent and say...Ok. God, I am giving this up to you! Sometimes the result is something totally unexpected but in the end...is exactly what I needed.Please continue to keep us in your prayers and I will continue to keep you in my prayers each night.Until next time,

Shelley