Spring 2003 B-R-E-A-T-H-E

March, April May 2003 Update: Where does the time go??? I have been trying to keep the "bare bones" of the site going...the calendar, quotes, and saints info current but haven't been able to really sit down and write an update about what has been going on with me. A lot of it is that I figure...who wants to hear about me??? Then I will get a flurry of emails from my wonderful cyber friends who keep track of me and who pray for me and who want to know WHAT is up?? Also, I have to remember that there are lots of people who do NOT send me emails but who may be inspired by something so I have to continue to try update. It is hard, though. Sometimes I feel like all I have to report is bad news but I just reread my entries and overall I think I try to end with a positive note and that is pretty much how I try to live my life so I guess that is good.Anyway, the past few months I have been dealing with lots of infections, fatigue, and just trying to recover from the hip replacement. I am getting around a lot better though but with all of the infections, etc...I still can not get OUT and about very much. Also, I am still on the oxygen 24/7 which is a major pain but, hey, I am not complaining...I like BREATHING...LOL!!!Tom & I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. For a lot of people we know, 10 years is NOTHING!!! Ha ha!! However, for a couple struggling with chronic illness, 10 years is an achievement!! We both are very proud of our marriage. We feel that we have only grown closer because of this illness and also we are so grateful (yes I said grateful) because we know that my illness made us turn back to God and made faith become the center of our lives.Prayer brought Tom into my life and prayer brought me into Tom's life...it's true. Prayer is such a powerful thing. Prayer is the greatest gift we can give one another. Tom says that prayer actually relaxes him. Try it. Pray for someone who is hurting. Pray for someone you love. Pray for someone who you may be angry with...just pray :)Until next time...gentle hugs and prayers your way,Shelley

January 2003 We All Have Crosses

Whew! I NEVER thought I was going to be able to update this website. First of all, thank all of you for being so worried about me! Yes :( I have been away from the computer as I was ill. Actually, I had to have my other hip replaced. In August, my other hip turned to dust (doesn't sound as painful that way..) I had to wait, though, until mid November to have the hip replacement surgery.Then in September I had a series of small strokes call TIAs...nothing really serious but still kind of scary...actually I think it was scarier for my poor husband than for me.During this, I developed a very bad upper respiratory infection (I already have difficulty breathing so any additional "problems" make it extremely challenging)I pretty much was not only homebound but was relegated to an area to the family room (I pretty much lived in the Lazy Boy Recliner for about four months) I was in SO much pain...I can not even begin to describe how painful it was...and not to be able to work on this web site was truly frustrating. I really felt cut off from everyone and everything.I just kept having to remind myself to put my trust in God...and sometimes that is hurt when it HURTS so much...but those where the times when I would just have to rely on faith alone or else I do not know how I would have lasted.Tom and I have had long talks...we all have crosses...each and every one of us. Crosses come in all shapes and sizes...they come at different times in our lives. Keep the faith and as always try to deal with anything you must face with grace and courage.As a side note, besides having health problems, I had some problems with my web server host...it took a few (ahem) months to get things straightened out but I think that things are now back to normal...so HOPFULLY, I will be able to update on a regular basis.So, keep us in your prayers and we will keep all of you in our prayers.Until next month...Gentle hugs,

October 2002 Gotta Have Faith...

Although on the screen it looks like just a bit of time has passed, it has been several months since I have been able to update the site. Life is never boring....is it? If it isn't one thing, it's another. People have always told me...God only gives you as much as you can handle...and I sometimes say...He must think I can handle a LOT!!!I guess I really don't think about how sick I really am (guess the word there is DENIAL...ha ha!!) I had lots of health problems in September which just continued to worsened into October and now here we are in November already! Next week I will be going into the hospital to have my other hip replaced (might as well have a matching pair :) Also, I have some sort of mass in my chest which is too small to biopsy at the moment but because I have been on various chemo agents for the CNS lupus there is a greater risk of developing lymphomas so my doctors are very concerned. All I can do is continue to have faith.How do people get through the trials of life without faith? I can not even fathom a second of this life without faith. Believe me, there are days when I wonder...why does it have to be this way? Why do I have to suffer like this? Why? Why ? Why?I am certainly no Saint! I wasn't sure if I should share my story "online" or not. It is very hard to do this...but the emails and guestbook notes encourage me as much as I hopefully encourage you. I feel very blessed to have an opportunity to not only share my faith with you but to also show that we all have crosses to bear..Yup...we all do. Every single one of us. Crosses come in all shapes and sizes. What is your cross? Try to bear your cross with grace, strength, and faith. Of course, we are all going to have cranky, grumpy days...when those days roll around...that is the time we have to really ask for more strength....more grace...and sometimes...that is when we really have to rely on FAITH.According to the dictionary, Faith is:belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proofPretty cool, huh?Well, that is all for my update for now. Please keep Tom and me in your prayers for prayers are the best gift one can give or receive.Until next time...Gentle hugs,